Parenting skills are acts or skills to be learned. There is no one born as a good parent genetically, so friends it is not inbuilt. It is an act or skill every inspiring parent must learn. You might say “Hey! But I love kids”, but that still does not qualify you as a good parent. That can be a good base to learn how to be a good parent. Yes! It is something you must learn.
Raising kids as parents is not something that is done with ease. A lot of sacrifice, compromise, energy, etc will be required of you. It is often considered one of the most frustrating things to do especially because it is a continuous process of learning. You will never know how to handle everything when it comes to parenting. So yeah, the best parents are always looking for mediums or ways to improve.
If you are on this page, it shows that you are determined to be a better parent. It’s therefore safe to say that you are concerned about your interaction with your kids or kids-to-be. This is the first move to take in becoming the best version of a good parent. In this article, we will explore — major ways of becoming a more successful parent
These are child training tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
1. Feed Your Child’s Self-Esteem
The self-activeness of kids starts from their developing stage. They begin to develop a sense of self as babies, seeing themselves through the eyes of their parents or guardians. Their character is built and even their temperament can influence. The way you react to things around them, your tone of voice, body language, and your every expression are mirrored and absorbed by your kids. And yes! This means that your words and actions affect the development of their self-esteem more than any other external factor.
The way you talk to friends, neighbors, and even your foes will be copied and replicated. You should speak respectfully while talking to others. Making degrading comments about them as they grow up will affect the child negatively.
Excessively applauding a child’s accomplishment no matter how little it is, can make the child feel proud; allowing your child to do things with less supervision or monitoring can make the child feel strong and capable early enough. Likewise, degrading comments or unfavorably comparing a child with their peers makes them feel worthless. Words are more powerful than we think. So be compassionate with your words, it has a way of tinting the attitude or behavior of a child to either the right path or the wrong path. Avoid using words as a medium of punishment or weapon.
2. Focus on Your Kids Being Good
Sometimes is it better to give genuine compliments than to condemn the actions of your kids as a parent. Emphasize more on their strengths than on their flaws. I think it is okay to reward your kids for “trying” not just when they do “it right”. This will help their morale to dare things. I know sometimes we react to our kids not intending to negatively affect them but to correct them against some certain attitude and in the process the correction is expressed negatively. Yes! I understand, but there is a more excellent way, and this is why we are here. As a parent, you must learn to adjust the way you react to things in the presence of your kids. The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked — that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behavior over the long run than repeated scoldings.
Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
3. Instill Discipline
Discipline is very necessary in every home. This will put boundaries to the behavior or attitude around the home. The main aim of discipline is to help kids choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. They may test the limits that were laid down for them, but they need those limits to grow into responsible adults.
Laying down house rules helps kids understand your expectations, and their limits and to develop self-control. Some of these rules might include: no TV until homework is done or until you have eaten your meal, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed. You might need to put a system in place to enforce the established rules. Like the consequences of not yielding to warnings after the first or second error made by them. These consequences can be the loss of some immediate privileges. Don’t make the mistake of not being consistent with the enforcement and consequences of the established rule. Make sure you let it known and defined that it is the standard of the household. As you discipline your kids you have to discipline yourself too, do not by any means be found wanting of failing in keeping the rule, Kids “behold and become”.
4. Make Time for Your Kids
Your kids should see your presence as a one-time gift, you must create time for them, and spend quality time with them. They might not openly complain about your absence in your presence but they will carry a void in them that desire the love and attention of a father. Start by making sure you eat breakfast with your kids. If you will have to wake up early like 10 minutes earlier before breakfast.
Many parents find it rewarding to schedule together time with their kids. Create a “special night or a special weekend” each week to be together and allow your kids to decide how to spend the time. Look for other ways to connect put a note or something special in your kid’s lunchbox, just be sweet.
Teens seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger kids. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.
Don’t feel guilty if you’re a working parent. It is the many little things you do — making popcorn, playing cards, window shopping — that kids will remember.
5. Be Their Role Model
Young kids learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Be aware that you’re constantly being watched by your kids. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home.
Model the traits you wish to see in your kids: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your kids the way you expect other people to treat you.
6. Prioritize Communication
You can’t expect kids to do everything simply because you, as a parent, “say so.” They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. If we don’t take time to explain, kids will begin to wonder about our values and motives and whether they have any basis. Parents who reason with their kids allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child’s suggestions as well. Negotiate. Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
7. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust Your Parenting Style
If you often feel “let down” by your child’s behavior, perhaps you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in “shoulds” (for example, “My kid should be potty-trained by now”) might find it helpful to read up on the matter or to talk to other parents or child development specialists.
Kids’ environments affect their behavior, so you might be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself constantly saying “no” to your 2-year-old, look for ways to alter your surroundings so that fewer things are off-limits. This will cause less frustration for both of you.
As your child changes, you’ll gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won’t work as well in a year or two.
Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection!
8. Express Your Love In an Unconditional way
As a parent, you’re responsible for correcting and guiding your kids. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it.
When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which hurts self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, try to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining your kids. Make sure they know that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
9. Know Your Own Needs and Flaws as a Parent
Face it — you are an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize your abilities — “I am loving and dedicated.” Vow to work on your weaknesses — “I need to be more consistent with discipline.” Try to have realistic expectations for yourself, your partner, and your kids. You don’t have to have all the answers — be forgiving of yourself.
And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you’re burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy.
Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.
10. Be flexible
Sometimes parents struggle with unrealistic expectations and goals for both their kids and for themselves. When this happens, parenting can feel burdensome and overwhelming. If you find that you regularly feel that way, you may need to be more flexible when it comes to yourself, your kids, and your parenting.
Being a perfectionist parent is stressful. Not only do parents in this camp fear messing their kids up for life, but they also put extreme pressure on their kids to perform flawlessly. They also expect way too much of themselves.
Likewise, if you are a perfectionist, you may worry about what other parents think of you or that you will be shamed for your parenting. For instance, you might feel that your toddler isn’t potty training fast enough or that your school-age kids aren’t doing well enough in school. This kind of pressure can backfire, especially if your expectations set your child up to feel like a failure.
It’s important to take a step back and reevaluate whether or not your expectations are realistic.
Likewise, learn to be more flexible and let go of things that don’t matter in the long run. Both you and your kids will benefit from a more go-with-the-flow attitude.